That One Time I Limited Myself To A Single Part

I’m going to grossly oversimplify this, but here it goes.

My dark side saved me. For a long time, she was the last authentic part I had left. There was only ‘her.’ (No names.) I “was” only one aspect of me.

I yearned for what I thought was in me, but couldn’t find it. I had only my trauma responses and my lit darkness trying to battle it, alone.

Of course, as you can imagine, it got pretty dark.

Don’t be mistaken now. I love my little darkling(s). I am thrilled when she/they (yea, I know) comes front and center with me. I know I will probably deeply enjoy our time together. Either that, or I’ll be forced to grow. And it’s probably hurt. At any rate, it’s unforgettable.

Still, I’m glad my, let’s just say, inner goth girl doesn’t “stick around” as long. I deeply miss her when she doesn’t show her face often, though. I love her, and I appreciate, eventually, every second I get with my inner darkness. But I also have other aspects to respect.

My inner night-child isn’t as stressed out anymore. That’s because I’m no longer leaning solely on her. She gets room to do her thing, so to speak. My other parts are happy (and relieved) because they get my attention, too. And I am blessed because I get to know my core parts deeper. In other words, I get to know more about myself.

Here are a few lessons from that complicated experience:

  1. What is neglected suffers.
  2. Those who are strong grow tired.
  3. Too much focus one one aspect is exhausting, unsustainable, and ultimately devastating (maybe on both, if it’s like that.)
  4. True authenticity requires all parts (or as many as possible at the time, whatever the case is.)
  5. If you’re focusing on one thing, you’re not paying attention to something else.
  6. Sometimes pain brings blessings.
  7. Never define yourself by one thing, no matter what it is.

The Truth Is Multifaceted

The truth comes from numerous angles and various depths. And a lot of other um, sources, (if that works) too.

Truth is not a single, flat level. It’s not (only) a nice stroll.

There is variance in honest actuality. That’s all we’re saying here.

To hold on to one level, or aspect, is to shut out the rest of the whole story. All the other characteristics and such suffocate under the weight of neglect.

And the last time I checked, denial and/or ignorance is not your friend. More times than not, it’s wicked, actually.

I’m thankful to let go of strong opinions (on a lot of things). Overall, I deeply appreciated my layered, or shared, perspective. Because of that, I recognize corny opinions pretending to be absolute.

Beyond all those stupid games lies actual truth. And I get to see more of that because of various frames of reference.


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