Some people say that human beings are sponges even if they can’t feel it yet. They absorb everything around them even if they don’t actually want to- from the stress around them to the targets everyone makes them believe are the most important to pursue.
Your young mind was but a sponge taking it all in, your teenage years were a rebellion against everything you didn’t want inside of you, but couldn’t get rid of, and your adulthood is the silence after the storm- you see the ashes, you smell the smoke, you feel the wounds but you don’t know where to start. You know it’s your battlefield to clean, to rebuild, to heal, and you have to start doing it with the fact planted deep inside you that now you’re alone, your family is here, people are here, but inside that skull of yours… there is no master but you.
I don’t know if you can control it, I don’t know if there’s a way to somehow not get affected by what’s happening outside, but I do know there’s a way I can deal with it, I know there’s a place inside that’s only mine to visit, and I don’t want to enter carrying the darkness of the world on my shoulders!
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