The Meaning of Positivity

Positivity quotes are shared everywhere one can think of, on a daily basis. I share them too. There are so many, yet they often leave me feeling frustrated, disappointed and also a little nostalgic for better times, whether in the past or the future I’ve imagined, that now seems very uncertain. To clarify this for myself, I’ve decided to explore and ponder the topic a little more and this is what came up, what positivity really means to me-

Real positivity is the miracle of still getting up and not giving up, despite finding yourself in circumstances so overwhelmingly painful, frustrating and difficult that you literally no longer have the option of being sufficiently motivated by simply feeling good.

Real positivity is inner strength, willpower, thankfulness and selfless love when everything’s going wrong and all odds seem against you, not when everything is easy and going right.

It is finding the music, the beautiful and the funny, in the midst of a nightmare. An inner knowing that as long as you’re breathing, there is hope.

It is valuing the littlest things and finding solace and peace in the smallest indication of safety, even if it’s just you, holding and calming yourself up in your mind. It has the ability to escape into imagination long enough to envision, plan and create a better outcome, but short enough not to lose touch with reality.

It is holding space in your heart and mind for every secret from the past you have yet to process, trusting that you will reach the point of maturity, mental and emotional strength where you can take out those memories, observe, feel and reframe them- one by one, without being overwhelmed or derailed by them in the present.

It is having empathy for others, when no one extends any to you. Listening when no one listens, seeing and acknowledging others when you feel invisible. It is smiling, when no one returns it, sharing light and love, while finding yourself in pitch darkness, knowing the light you give will light up your own life path too. True positivity does all those things without holding grudges or letting resentment grow, because it’s inspired by unconditional love. It is often also just freeing yourself by forgiving and letting go.

Real positivity perseveres in trying to succeed and make things work, long after others would’ve given up. Yet, also has the insight to know when it is time to move on, to trust and initiate the magic of new beginnings and greater things.

It involves reaching out, feeding yourself and others with hope, vision, strength and something to look forward to, even when you’re feeling hungry, cold and/or alone.

Positivity is not a luxury, an extra or a nicety, it is the way to survive and thrive, when going by the opinions of others, the facts, and all that you’ve been through, you shouldn’t even be alive. Positivity is the best choice, when you’re out of choices. It gives you the freedom to start over, to find your voice and your passion, when it seems way too late for things like that.

Genuine positivity knows there are really no negative emotions. Negativity happens when emotions are suppressed, avoided, framed as bad, denied, inappropriately expressed or allowed free reign to hurt yourself and others. Even the most unpleasant emotions often just need enough space, time and attention – to be heard, felt, validated, reframed and let go with a sigh of relief.

Real positivity is a superpower, yielding real results- not an act, a daydream, a weakness or a mistake. It studies and faces reality completely and honestly, yet knows and acknowledges that reality is not set in stone, but flexible and malleable, bending and moulding according to the way we respect, accept, feel, interpret and act on it, while still unfolding.

Authentic positivity is not about looking, acting or seeming happy all the time, neither expecting others to do the same, just so we won’t feel uncomfortable. It accepts that sometimes we all feel sad, angry, hurt and disappointed and knows that that’s also ok. It extends acceptance, sincere empathy, information, practical help and love to those who need it most and actually improves the world, one person and situation at a time, giving everyone who is touched by it, a surprising new reason to smile.

Lasting positivity does not depend on what goes on around us, but on what happens from moment to moment in our hearts, thoughts, imaginations and souls. It does not originate from convenience, but from love, conscience, deep conviction about what really matters and confidence in knowing each of us has it in us to make a constructive difference.

Positivity is the beautiful, warm blanket made with nurturing self-love, knitted together with kindness, thoughtfulness and quiet confidence shared over the years, that can envelop each of us, along with all our fears, memories, anxieties and future dreams and plans; to soothe us, safely in the now. So that even in the face of uncertainty, we can feel free to let ourselves relax and just be.

Once you achieve this kind of positivity, genuine heartfelt happiness, confidence, gratitude, love, inspiration and laughter are made possible, even during the worst, darkest times and circumstances imaginable.

MATHEUS BERTELLI