“You’re an emotional fool…”- said my friend, as I narrated the whole episode to her. Who could relate with me more than her, she was one too. It wasn’t the first time that I was hurt at the hands of a close one. I continued to feel a little low, ’cause I felt I was wronged, “…but hold on, you were not wrong here, so this is not about you- that’s just how the world is” she said consoling me at the close.
In that moment, I felt a little relieved, not from the hurt, but from venting out and the validation of my pure intent and the consolation of a loved one.
If you are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), holding strong emotions, feeling everything intensely- even when things happen with others, most likely, at some point in time, you would have felt defeated, perhaps labeled an ’emotional fool’ too.
The one with a beautiful heart, you find yourself vulnerable or anxious over doings/misdoings of the others that may not even have any bearing whatsoever on your personal life; and yet that affects you.
The one who believes everyone…even when you’re aware of their reality, because you often reassuringly argue with yourself, “Why would anyone hurt me? Why would they take me for granted?
And there is the catch really. You see it happen each time- and sulk, and yet the empath in you continues to reach out. So yes, while we are at it, keep being good, helping people and spreading that kindness. But what is of prime importance is to also have compassion for the one you ignore during the process – YOU.
Having been through many such instances, I often feel depleted. Somehow my inclinations to help dominate, but over the years I have grown, and I find myself being able to balance fairly better. And that I have learnt from my very own experiences.
“And when you heal, you will understand what broke you.”
To be honest, I am still learning- when to reach out, how much to offer and where to stop. Here, I am just sharing from my realisations, how one can move ahead, hope it helps-
- Self-preservation is equally important. Do watch and guard yourself- remember it’s not about you, sometimes the world is not at its best. So do not take everything personally.
- Know your limits and limitations, set boundaries accordingly.
- Find the causes of overwhelm (triggers), and address those sensitivities.
- Give yourself space from time to time. For me.. music, art, some of my favourite series and exercise work well. Do find your own recluse and regulate.
And the next time you step into someone’s shoes, do make it a point to also step out and resume your own sweet tale.
Remember- “You cannot heal the world until you heal yourself.”
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Very encouraging article.
Thank you for your words Nurani Sir.