How her touch felt,
and now, not much moves me.
How her words healed,
and now, I fight with myself.
How secure I was in her arms,
and now, I fear the world.
How her voice warmed my heart,
and now, everyone seems to be making noise.
How her presence fulfilled,
and now, the void feels.
How she was my home,
and now, I take shelter in my shell.
How in those times I felt safe and surrounded,
and now, I’m scared coz she isn’t around.
How I do realise I was a wild child,
and now, my silence knows no bounds.
How I, being nobody, felt worthy,
and now, all appreciation seems futile.
How she calmed me with her sweet smile,
and now, I am so irritable, I frown.
How I would be unmoved, she was my strength,
and now, she is my weakness, my lost crown.
How she meant the whole world,
and now, this world weighs me down.
How I would say nothing when she was here,
and now, I have so much to say at the end of the day, but she isn’t around.
All that my heart has held, all along, I write now. All that I dream about you, I share there. They may only be some pieces of paper, but they have seen it all- me, just as I was with you- happy then, sad and vulnerable now, these papers hold all my feelings. And all that was left unsaid, I write to you Mom, I know you can see it all, all that is said in this unsent letter!
SUZY HAZELWOOD
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