Most of the problems in family strife, particularly between husband and wife, center around the problems of communication. From that point, all other things start. A stage is reached when the discussion levels are taken altogether differently and at different proportions, forgetting most of the time, the origin of the discussion. But by the time lot of useless clothes have been woven and there is no way to pick up the right thread.

So, instead of learning big skills like the art of how to live, I personally feel, we should start all over again from the beginning. And the lessons should be on how to communicate in the family. If there is peace in the family, living becomes smooth without stress and tension. That is what life is meant for. The pursuit of higher things like spirituality, evolving oneself, reaching heights, achieving goals (depending upon where the goalposts are), etc. according to me, will become possible, as per the individual capacity, if the basic purpose of life is sound.

It is also not what we are communicating, but the relevance of communicating the right thing at the right time. Each one in the family must understand the roles of others and pick up communication only when the other is receptive and free to think about that communication. We are used to talking on any subject at any time irrespective of the work in which other person is occupied. It is possible that the person may not listen properly or pay attention because he or she is occupied with something else. So, it is better to keep at least a mental list of subjects to be talked about, and preferably discuss serious issues when the atmosphere is conducive to all.

Sometimes, expressions are made just for the sake of it. They are not meant to be real. They are just expressions only. If the other person seriously starts taking action on those expressions, things will go terribly wrong. They are just mere expressions of wish, but seemingly a communication to act. We must know how to distinguish between both and come to a decision.

I am just saying that communications are of different kinds in a family. Some are meant as expressions of feelings, some are just words, some are for releasing of tension, some are directed at someone and meant for someone, etc. The clear distinction should be understood, in the course of time, so that family peace is established as ever and does not get frittered away due to these types of communications.

These are not meant for advice to anyone, and please do not mistake me in this context, as I am sharing these thoughts as a matter of expression and have no intention of saying anything to anyone. At the end of the day, this is only communication.

GREG RAKOZY xxxx xxxxx
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