Suicide notes

We often read well-known suicide notes of iconic figures, and tear up a little then go on with our day…but have you ever teared up and started thinking deeper? Thinking of all the possible reasons that were behind this icon’s decision? Thinking of how a person who looks so complete, from your point of view, could actually be carrying so much pain inside? I have, and I do…every single day.

The first step down the ladder to the pitch dark tunnel of sadness is simply a thought, a thought that could go all the way to become a suicide note. La tristesse durera toujours, the sadness will last forever (Van Gogh, 1890), this one is especially known to people, not only because Vincent Van Gogh is an inspiring artist that we hold dear to our hearts, but also because it’s relatable, it’s a thought that comes to that high school student who fears to go to her maths final, and to that 40 years old who are facing financial problems, and also to that heartbroken young adult, and it could evolve from being just an angry thought…to a horrible end.

I’m done with that. Time to go. No more to come (Williams, 2014), Robin Williams is another icon that held so much pain behind his contagious smile, the news was unbelievable for most people, but it was too late to understand. The future is just old age and illness and pain…I must have peace and this is the only way (Whale, 1957). …I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away (Cobain, 1994). If you search deeper behind every note you’ll find that the aim behind them is to find peace, each and every one of them thought that life stopped, that peace stopped, so decided to look for it in another world…maybe.

This is not by any means romantic, sadness is not a quote you copy to express how you feel for a certain amount of time, we need to stand against clichés, to listen to loved ones when they express their pain and not go around saying “it will be okay” because just like you sometimes think, other people also think it won’t. Look behind smiles for scars, look underneath memories for unfinished stories, lightly and gently roam through this planet…for you don’t know who is on the verge of jumping off, and you still don’t realize how large your impact can be.

When you can’t be the moon in your world…at least don’t be darkness, but be a tiny star.

GREG RAKOZY xxxx xxxxx

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